On Being Me

The story of a girl, in her own words, being treaded as a reject at her new school for being different and sledding at 10PM in her PJs.

A few months ago I transferred to a new school because I was too stressed out at my old school. At my new school, I was careful not to do anything that would show what kind of a person I was. I had no pins or patches on my bag. The school has uniforms, so I looked like everyone else. I never gave my opinion, I just agreed with everyone else. I didn't want to be rejected like I had been before.

After about two months, I was ecstatic. Everyone liked me. I decided that I could risk letting them know what kind of a person I was. I also felt like I was destroying myself by not being who I was. So I stopped hiding my personality. All of my friends, pretty much everyone in the school, were preps (sorry, I hate to stereotype). They listened to N'Sync, wore Abercrobie and Fitch® clothes, gushed about cute guys, and spent their weekends wandering through malls. I am not a prep, and I let them know that. I listen to hard-rock music. In my free time, I just hang out and do whatever comes to mind, regardless of what other people would think of it. Speeding across a parking lot in a shopping cart is fun. So is acting drunk. As for how I dress, I like to dress like a guy. You just can't find anything more comfortable than old, baggy clothes. Most people would call me a skater. At my school, they call me a scruff. But that is the way I am, and I wasn't going to cover it up anymore. I put a Korn patch on my bag. I bought a chain necklace. I painted my nails black. I talked about how I spent my weekends doing whatever I felt like doing.

Suddenly, my friends that I sat with at lunch didn't listen to me anymore. I would talk and they just didn't hear me. I thought they honestly couldn't hear me, and I felt left out. So I switched to a lunch table with a smaller group. It turned out to be all the people that were shunned by the general population of the school (a.k.a. the "rejects"). I later found out that when I left my old table, they spent the entire lunch period talking about me…and they weren't saying nice things.

I was terribly hurt. It woke me up to the harsh words and strange glances that I had been overlooking. I cried for days. Then, I realized that I was better off now. My new friends, the "rejects," were nicer than anyone else had ever been. They were furious when they heard what was said about me. They all went to the guidance office to report what had happened, and ended up bringing the issue to the principal of the school. Why should I be upset when I had found true friends, who will stick up for me and be there for me no matter what happens?

My new friends told me that in this school, they were afraid of people who were different. And I decided that I was the better person. They were too narrow-minded to accept any lifestyle except their own. They thought I was weird for going sledding at 10:00 at night in my PJs, but they just didn't have the strength of mind to do what they wanted. Whatever they did, they had to think first if others did it too. If you do what everyone else does, you can't be singled out and harassed. But hey, sledding in the moonlight was fun! I strongly recommend it to anyone who wants to have a good time. So, they think they are better than me because they are more popular, but in reality,

I AM ABOVE THEM.

Name withheld by request.

* Reprinted from Positive Teens Magazine Volume 3 Issue 1, Jan/Feb 2001

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